In the contemporary discourse surrounding gender roles and masculinity, a profound misunderstanding seems to permeate our culture. The concept of 'toxic masculinity'—a term coined to critique certain negative traits presumed to be inherently male—has become a polarizing topic fueled by an overly educated pretentious few. However, it's crucial to discern the difference between unhealthy behaviors and the essential, constructive qualities of traditional masculinity that have been the bedrock of stable societies.
Masculinity, in its true essence, is not the evil it is often portrayed to be; rather, masculinity is a vital force for societal stability and progress. A rugged, disciplined, dangerous and compassionate man plays an indispensable role in the fabric of all communities. After all, who is statistically more likely to engage in the rugged acts, which might even put your life at risk, in order for the betterment of society?
The narrative that masculinity equals societal woes is a reductionist approach that ignores the broader spectrum of male contribution. While it's undeniable that certain individuals exploit their power—manifesting in aggression and exploitation—the fault lies not with masculinity itself, but with a broader culture of power misuse that affects both genders. All power is not corrupt but all corruption is a result of power; the predictor often lies in the upbringing of the young boy who became a corrupt man as a result of childhood misfortunes. These misfortunes could be a result of a general lack of a disciplined structure; missing a father at home; overly reliant on screens; lack of responsibility, chores and work; and a general misuse of words or physical punishment by way of a scared parent.
The final misconception to address is the association of masculinity with an unquenchable thirst for power. While power dynamics are inherent in all human interaction, the objective should not be to vilify power but to teach men to wield it responsibly. A well-raised man understands that true power is about service and stewardship, not domination and control. Power is actually a great thing because it has the capability to motivate, direct, men to achieve greatness.
The call for men to embody their masculinity responsibly is about fostering virtues such as courage, discipline, and a protective instinct. From a young age, boys should be taught to channel their innate energy and potential aggression into constructive outlets. This can be done through disciplined upbringing (spanking at times), involving chores, responsibilities, and physical activities that build character and resilience. Physical strength, courage to face challenges, and the protective nature of men are not relics of the past but are essential for a society's survival and prosperity. In order to cultivate these virtues boys must get outside, play with others, participate (win and lose) in sports, do manual labor and learn to self-regulate their own physical altercations. These traits, when directed positively, contribute to a society where safety, order, and progress prevail.
At the familial level, men are traditionally seen as providers and protectors—a role that extends beyond mere financial support to include emotional strength and guidance. In the community, men's natural inclination towards building and fixing things plays a critical role in development and innovation. Skills like hunting, craftsmanship, and mentorship are valuable and necessary for the holistic growth of the community. Furthermore, the idea that masculinity involves taking care of those who are vulnerable—women, children, and the elderly—is a principle that underscores the role of men as caregivers, not just as providers or defenders.
The modern drift towards blurring traditional gender roles has led to confusion and a crisis of identity among men. Simply stated, men are under attack to become ultra-feminized and weak. The fashion choices of public figures and the decreasing physical robustness of younger generations might seem trivial but are indicative of a deeper societal shift. This shift, if left unchecked, risks diluting the very traits that have equipped men to lead and protect effectively. Men are looking more and more to pop culture to shape their upbringing and it is leaving a hole in society as a result. Crime is up, lack of faith is down, physical prowess is pathetic and men are being phased out of society. Some might argue that this is nothing more than ‘nature’ phasing out the weak, but I contest that we need more REAL men than less to account for the massive population in the world today.
Conclusion: Embracing True Masculinity
As we navigate these complex times, it becomes increasingly important to foster a culture where true masculinity is not only encouraged but celebrated. Men are not merely born; they are made through the values instilled in them by their families and communities. It is through embracing the positive aspects of masculinity—strength, protection, provision, and moral integrity—that we can hope to see a generation of men who act as pillars of society. I encourage everyone, especially those in leadership and educational roles, to reflect on these points and strive to support the development of men who can carry the torch of positive change.
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